Welcome back to another episode of me, myself, and I hahaha. Its been a really long time I haven't really write about my life in here. I mean, did publish some post but its not really a personal one. The last personal post a.k.a life update I published was those on the last October hahaha so I guess you can only guess what makes me coming back to this blog page of mine. Yes, you are right. It is just another heart break and life mess.
Yesterday I was tidying up my room and found some old stuff which is my diaries. I never really look at them when I was doing some tidy up but yesterday I just went kind of curious so I re-read it again. It was funny and cringe I gotta be honest. But one thing for sure is that, I am still as hopeless romantic as I was. The difference is that now I got to experience some relationship as I am not really as clueless as I was before. Not as naïve as before. One thing that really made me by surprise is that; I'm still battling the same battle as I was young and dumb before. It's that, I'm still scared that somebody might not love me as enough, love me the least as I did, that eventually they will just leave.
It's still frightened me enough, I can't lie. But I don't know to whom I can share this kind of matter as I feel maybe, just maybe its just the wound that the inner child me still carry. I'm still not so sure how I can handle this. It was the worst feelings I have experienced in my life, so I was kind of not really easily forgetting it. It triggers me every time we had an argument, that one time this one person might get sick of me that eventually he leaves. The feeling of being neglected, the feeling of being left alone, the feeling of not being understood. Who am I to judge? Who am I to ask someone to just get me for a little bit and understand me?
Sometimes I feel that it is a homework myself should carry and resolve by my own self, but if I'm not really sure what I should do, then to whom I should ask advice for? I am really clueless, I get no idea as I feel like I can't really think clear hiks
It is the era where we feel like we're not really sure of what we are going through. Which step we should take next. Which pattern, which time, which path we should be living. So I guess, welcome to the show?
>> Welcome to The Show - DPR IAN
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