Self-Validation

Its finally the time when I got so much spare time and enough wit to eventually do the things I want to do since long time - self validating. As a girl who spent mostly her days surrounded by manly behavior, dressing up and putting make up on were not really my thing. I mean why would I do such effort if I end up in a sweaty situation eventually? After all, I also didn't plan in getting so much attention at project site. Since I always been the only girl at site, I never wanted it to be more obvious and attention seeking to those site worker, like hmm. So my everyday look was just only a basic comfy outfit with minimal make up on only for me not to look pale. Oh, and I wore surgical mask all the time (even before covid), just because so people don't have to recognize me by my face, lol.

Never have I ever dress up and do such make up on in daily basis when I was at work, unlike those good old days when we were still in college. When we got to mix and match our outfits and no one would bother, or whenever we've got an event to attend and its okay to put such heavy make up on. I do really miss those days so bad. Even more when I got to spend those girlish moment with my girls. Having friends around is indeed a privilege hehe

Okay, enough is enough. I mean we used to desire so much things we don't have at those exact moment. It stressing us up and sometimes makes us anxious, but then lets just cherish it instead of having negative response to it hehe

Even though this is just a basic photo shoot I did in my own bedroom, but I'm glad I still can do such thing I used to do when I was still in high school lol. Another thing is that I'm beyond grateful that now I can finally dyed my hair in light color since I don't have to go to project site and meet those site worker haha. It feels like finally I can be someone I am always dreaming of becoming. Even this hair color is not the best of what I expect, but at least we're progressing, right hehe.

And this is my personal favorite self-portrait so far. Even though that its blurry, but its blurry by all means. Its just I feel like a lioness whenever I look at this picture haha.

Its just so many things have been happening actually. I feel like I need to let it out somewhere but I'm not sure whether to pour it in this post or making it into another post. I mean, this self validation and whatsoever, at first I was doing it only for myself. But too bad, on earlier days of my "free time" day I met someone. Maybe I'll just let that story into another post, maybe a post I will keep on archive, or maybe we will see. I think so much has been spilled only for a post hehe.

Until then,

take care and take care.

Yours truly,

Ela.