It's again this time of the year, when I got to visit my blog page and grumbled of how last year went so fast, one couldn't even notice. 2018, why did you end already? While in the meantime, I know that its again "life" that kept me busy, all these hectic, and mess and everything life has to offer, the drama, the ups and downs, the bliss and also the heartbreak.
2017, I would say, was indeed a year. The year that again, taught me a lot about life. When 2017 taught me a lot on surviving and trying hard finishing my academics journey, being stranded away and lived a "prihatin" life with strangers I barely knew for 45 days, and a little bit of drama to my love life -- well that's how I remembered 2017 was going.
2018? It taught me a lot about, how living the reality feels like. To become an adult and take responsibility over the decision we choose. About again realizing, that not all that we want, we could have -- after months having it together, that finally we had a grasp of our lives, that we turned into some self-centered ego human who thought that we could have anything as long as we fight for it.
-- turns out again, life doesn't happen that way.
Its indeed a punch, a hard punch for us to be back to our sane thought and realization, to be self-conscious enough, that whatever we went through, no matter how much we suffer and put our best effort for it, if its not meant for us, it just will, never be. Only if I was such naive enough to realize and put my self together. I was that desperate.
To 2019,
I don't expect much from you. I just wish, that maybe all these healing would finally come to an end. That I will have my life together again, because now that I know, all that I want in life is serenity. As if its the first thought of me having this blog page. To start over new, to have a serene life, out of the unpleasant reality.
Major C,
-- El.
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