Thought of a Thought

do you enjoy just sit there, think about things and mostly hear your own thought echoing over your mind? well, I did. and I just sit here, listen it carefully, the voices in my head that somehow just wont stop talking.

seemingly, every little things in life always got me mad at certain point these past several days already. i feel like, social relation doesn't excite me anymore, how meeting people and talking to them only feel like wasting another time, because somehow, this introvert side of me kicking real hard for this recent days already.

i think it started from when our batch got a night together at the villa, i felt like I'm pushing my social skill too much that I had it enough, but too bad, wherever I go there would be people talking distantly and all I could hear was their loud voices. it sickens me to be honest. so I just went to the bed room, taking my time alone, and just pretend to sleep instead of gathering for nothing. I'm social but not enough. 

then I got this feeling, when you feel mad all the time. well, it does happen all then time, especially when design studio assignment's deadline comes nearly. but its just, beyond words right now. either it was just because the PMS or may be I am again just bored with life. 

it's a bit hard to confess that this semester kinda gets me feeling bored at most times. well, maybe I got it too in every previous semester before, but since I had it passed already, I think I forget it all already. and now this is what I'm facing. I read so many articles of other people telling me their depression stories, the mid life crises they got around their (our) age, the lost of life meaning, the lost of pure happiness. it all, made me think again, that somehow I am never alone. that's why I always like it when people tell me about their thoughts, because somehow we can perceive from their eyes that somehow, we all feel the same deep down below, it's just we got different ways seeing it, and again analyse it. 

sometimes I'm tired of thinking real hard, but sometimes, if I don't analyse it, I would find myself just mess around doing nothing, then yet again wasting another time. and this, by thinking and writing my shit up, is just another meaning of wasting another time, but it does feel nice, to have thoughts you could share a perspective, to have thoughts to express what you feel inside, so I think it is okay.

Back to our sleepless night and thoughtful hours, before deciding on making this a writing, I read some of people's posts that I feel I could relate, it's Diana's Stillness and About Happiness. 

For both what I could relate is that somehow, how social interaction doesn't really excite me anymore. I could just meet people, talk to them, but then just it. I haven't even checked my social media accounts properly for almost a week by now i think? well, I have never take a look on it properly anyway, just a bit of glimpse at least. but this time, I haven't even check on it for just once. 

I haven't checked my instagram, I haven't check my path, and I barely use snapchat either. I still look up on facebook because there's where my friend share assignment and subject material, and I still use twitter because it's the only platform I could catch up every time I wanted to, even though being honest at there is a bit harsh now since many people got back using twitter again, pffft. oh, and youtube, I had barely watched unnecessary stuffs there, because, I just don't feel like being a passive audience, I think? haha. so then again, it's you my blog. it always feels like I'm talking to my self, but that's okay, because I know not so many people take a visit here and thank you, because of that I got to write anything without having to care how many people would read my post.

so, could you tell me then, what should  I do to get over this kind of unimportant kind of thought?